


Original Apple

by dragonflymetothemoon



Series: Beau Swan Series [1]
Category: Life and Death - Stephenie Meyer, Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Death, F/M, Fanfiction, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Not Beta Read, Original Character(s), Romance, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:22:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25911286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonflymetothemoon/pseuds/dragonflymetothemoon
Summary: “I could not resist the temptation of mystifying him a bit, I suppose it is some taste of the original apple that remains still in our mouths.”“Do you believe in destiny? That even the powers of time can be altered for a single purpose? That the luckiest man who walks on this earth is the one who finds… true love?”Beau Swan in Twilight Universe X Original Female Character (Lillian Hale)
Relationships: Alice Cullen/Jasper Hale, Angela Weber/Eric Yorkie, Beau Swan/Original Female Character(s), Carlisle Cullen/Esme Cullen, Edward Cullen/Bella Swan, Emmett Cullen/Rosalie Hale, James/Victoria (Twilight), Mike Newton/Jessica Stanley
Series: Beau Swan Series [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1880491
Comments: 3
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Literally no one asked for this and I doubt anyone will ever actually read it but quarantine has me staying up till 4 AM with nothing better to do than WRITE and burn candles. Oh well! If, by the off chance you stumble across this and take it for a spin, I hope you do enjoy.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beau Swan and his twin sister, Bella, leave sunny Phoenix for their hometown of Forks, WA.

_ January 17, 2005 _

I tried not to think about the sun burning my jean-clad legs through the open car window.

I tried not to think of the wind whipping against my face, forcing me to squint my eyes and breathe harshly through my nose.

The dry highway that stretched in front of us rippled from the heat, as if covered in a thick sheet of water, and I tried not to think of that.

In front of me, Phil had a line of sweat dripping down the side of his neck and next to him, in the passenger seat, Mom had to keep a hand on her head to keep her wide brim straw hat from flying back and hitting Bella. Bella, my twin sister, looked miserable as she repeatedly clenched the potted cactus in her hand. Her leg shook uncontrollably and she had her cheek pressed against the hot glass of her half-rolled down window.

It’s safe to say I looked just as miserable.

Phoenix was our home. It was our heaven. The heat, the sun, the perennial buzzing in the air during the day and the howling of coyotes, the clicking cicadas, at night. We loved the way the desert glowed orange in the evening, just as the sun set to the west, and we loved the pop of color as cactus flowers bloomed. The butterfly migrations. 

My eyes burned. It wasn’t from the wind… or the way my thighs were literally sautéing in the heat. Crap, I thought about it.  _ Leaving Phoenix.  _ For Forks. __

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In hindsight, I now realized Bella and I were just a little too selfless. I don’t think either of us were truly serious about going back to the town of our birth, and by the time we realized what we had done it was too late to take it back.

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We were going to Forks. The small, wet, dreadful town of Forks, Washington, on the Olympic Peninsula and a stone's throw away from the open ocean, was just about as far as you could get from Phoenix- metaphorically speaking. It was like an alien planet. It was from this alien planet of a town that my mom escaped with me and Bella when we were only a few months old. It was to this small, wet, dreadful town that Bella and I were forced to visit for a month every summer until we were fourteen- at which point we demanded with our collective bravery (which, honestly, wasn’t very much) to vacation in California for two weeks, instead.

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It was safe to say Bella and I hated Forks- yet, somehow, we found ourselves exiled to it for the rest of our high school years. One year, six months. It sounded like a prison sentence.

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Scratch that… a prison sentence, in which I’d be exiled to an  _ actual _ prison, sounded better. Unless that prison was in Forks.

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“You don’t have to do this,” our mom reminded us for the fiftieth or so time as we stood just outside the security check. 

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Looking at my mom was like looking in a mirror, but only on days I was feeling particularly confident. Most days, I can see myself only in her sky blue eyes and high cheekbones. I get the golden in my brown hair from her, too. I’m not sure what I get from my dad, Charlie. Other than the height maybe, though last I remember he’s not as lanky as me.

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Bella and I looked a lot alike. Probably more than most fraternal twins. We have the same straight eyebrows, though mine are thicker, and the same full lips- slightly disproportional from our narrow jaws. They fit with our wide foreheads, though. Her hair is darker than mine- darker than mom’s. It’s a deep, rich brown that I was always jealous of. She gets that and her chocolate eyes from dad. 

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If you asked her… she got them from our maternal grandfather.

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Bella was quick to reassure Mom that we wanted to go. “We  _ want _ to go,” she insisted, but it was a lie. It was a lie we had been saying so often recently it almost felt like the truth. 

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“You have fun with Phil, Mom,” I told her, squeezing her arm as she patted Bella’s cheek with tears in those sky blue eyes. Anxiety welled up inside of me as I began to second guess if leaving her to fend for herself was the right thing to do, but I calmed myself down by remembering that, no, she wouldn’t be by herself anymore. 

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She had Phil now. Bella and I weren’t needed anymore. With Phil with her, the bills would get paid and there would always be food in the fridge and gas in the car. With Phil, she would have someone to call if she got lost. With Phil, there would be some amount of level-headedness. Bella and I weren’t needed anymore.

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Now, we were just inconveniences. Not that mom would ever even think that, but I know how thrilled she was to be able to travel with Phil now. To finally be able to act as young as she felt.

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“We’ll be okay,” I promised. 

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“Tell Charlie I said hi.”

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“We will,” Bella and I replied. Neither of us meant it.

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“I’ll see you soon,” Mom promised as she pulled us both into a tight hug. She rocked back and forth and I had to lean forward so she could put her arm over my shoulder. “You can come home whenever you want- I’ll come right back as soon as you need me.”

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But I knew that would make her unhappy.

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“Don’t worry about us,” Bella insisted. “It’ll be great. I love you, Mom.” She dropped the bags she was holding as Mom threw both arms over her shoulders. They hugged for a long time, Bella’s head tucked into Mom’s neck as she blinked away tears. 

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Then Mom hugged me and my back hurt from having to duck down. She rubbed my shoulders and I awkwardly patted her back- eyes anxiously watching the large clock stationed above the gate board. Another minute passed before she finally released me. 

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Mom watched as we made our way through security. We waved once more after we went through the metal detectors and then she was gone.

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The flight to Seattle was three hours. The flight from Seattle to Port Angeles was another hour. Those didn’t bother me. I was fine with flying, even if I didn’t exactly trust the smaller plane we’d be taking to Port Angeles. It was the hour in the car with Charlie that sent anxiety rippling through me.

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Not that Charlie wasn’t a good guy or anything. He was. Quiet and a bit of a homebody. He was awkward and absolutely married to his job, but he was a good guy. Charlie had been surprised that Bella and I wanted to spend the next eighteen months with him, but he took it in stride. He sounded quite pleased about it when we talked on the phone a couple weeks ago to iron out all the finer details. He’d already gotten us enrolled in school and was going to help us find a car.

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Still, it was going to be awkward. Bella and I got our inability to hold a decent, engaging conversation from Charlie. Sitting in silence with just Bella was fine. Pleasant, even. Sitting in silence with Charlie… The thought made me want to cry in (first and second-hand) embarrassment.

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Thick sheets of ice cold water were raining down on us as we landed in Port Angeles. It wasn’t an omen, just inevitable, but it still felt like one. 

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Charlie was waiting for us in the cruiser. We were expecting this, as well as the fact that he was still in his police uniform. Charlie was Chief of Police to the good citizens of Forks.  _ Chief Swan. Looking at the cruiser reminded me how desperately Bella and I needed a car, despite our serious lack of funds and savings. _

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He helped put our bags in the cruiser, which together was only three duffel bags and a backpack. He pulled Bella into an awkward one-armed hug. Thankfully, I only had to stumble my way through a weak handshake.

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“It’s good to see you two,” he said, smiling as he patted my back. Bella gripped my arm to steady herself in the wind and rain. Charlie looked completely unbothered. “You look good. How’s Renee?”

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“She’s great. And thanks, it’s good to see you too, Dad.” We weren’t allowed to call him Charlie to his face. One of mom’s demands.

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My arms ached from carrying two of the heavy bags and, getting ready to climb into the passenger seat, I swung the door a little too hard and it hit (gently patted, really) a guy climbing out of his own car. “Oh, sorry.”

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The guy, who wasn’t much older than me and several inches shorter than me, slammed his own door shut and stepped up to me with a raised chin. He had tattoos on either side of his neck. A woman stood on the other side of the car, with dyed black hair and deep red lipstick and a menacing glint in her eyes. They were just picking for a fight and I sighed.

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“ _ Sorry?” _ She repeated as if my apology had somehow offended her.

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“Er, yeah?” I blinked.

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Charlie cleared his throat and both eyes snapped to him. Then they noticed what I was climbing into and the guy quickly took half a step back, suddenly looking younger. The woman pouted, but nevertheless scurried away with him and disappeared into the tiny terminal.

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Bella’s cheeks were flushed and she practically threw herself into the back seat. The brief exchange was enough to freak her out and, honestly, me as well. I shrugged, catching Charlie doing the same thing in my peripheral. It was funny how we shared some of the same mannerisms when we didn’t spend much time together. Maybe it was genetic.

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“I found a good car for you guys. Cheap. Safe,” Charlie said once we were all strapped in and on our way. Bella, safe in the backseat, only nodded and sent her knee into my back. ‘You talk’, she was saying.

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“What kind of car?” I asked suspiciously. Alarm bells rang in my head. He said it was a “good car for you guys” as opposed to just a “good car”. 

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“It’s a truck actually. A Chevy.”

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“Where’d you find it?” I pushed.

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“Remember Billy Black down at La Push?” La Push was the nearby Indian reservation on the coast. It was small and foggy and smelled like plaid from what I could remember.

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“No,” I answered honestly.

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“Him and his wife used to go fishing with us during the summer.”

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“That explains it,” Bella muttered and I tried not to grin. Thankfully, Charlie didn’t hear.

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“Well, he’s in a wheelchair now,” Charlie continued when neither of us responded. “Can’t drive. He offered to sell it to me real cheap.” He smiled at the end, as if trying to convince me that no more questions were needed. I wasn’t convinced.

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“What year is it?”

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The light in his eyes dimmed, smile breaking for a moment. Obviously, this was a question he was not looking forward to answering. “Billy’s put a lot of work into it. Really, it’s only a few years old.”

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“When did he buy it?” 

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“1984, if I remember correctly.”

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“Did he buy it new?”

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“Well, no. It was new in the early sixties… maybe late fifties- but only at the earliest,” he admitted quickly.

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“Ch-Dad, I don’t know anything about cars. We wouldn’t be able to fix anything if it broke and we don’t have the kind of money for repairs…” 

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“Really, Beau, the thing runs great. They don’t build ‘em like that anymore.”

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_ ‘The thing’. _ It sounded like a black and white horror film from the same time the truck was made. I filed it away as a potential nickname.

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“How cheap is cheap?” Bella asked. I jumped, reminded forcefully of her silent existence behind me.

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“Well, I kind of already bought it.” He side glanced us sheepishly. “As a homecoming gift.”

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Wow. A free car. Sure beats the cruiser.

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“You didn’t need to do that, Dad. Really, we were fine with buying one ourselves.”

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“I don’t mind. I want you guys to be happy here.” He was looking straight ahead as he admitted this. Charlie was never that comfortable with expressing anything that could be considered even remotely emotional. That was another thing we had in common. Which was why I was staring straight ahead as I replied.

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“That’s… great, Dad. Thanks.”

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“Yeah, thanks. We really appreciate that,” Bella put in her two cents, then leaned back against her seat and rested her head against the window- effectively shutting herself away from the waking world. 

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“Well, now, you’re welcome,” Charlie mumbled, cheeks flamed red in embarrassment.

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The rest of the drive was silent, apart from a couple words exchanged about the weather (which was wet). Eventually I leaned my head against the window and watched the scenery with Bella.

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I suppose there were a lot of people out there that found it beautiful. The rain had stopped and the road was shiny black, a dramatic contrast from the vivid green of the trees. Even the bark of the trees were green, covered in thick moss, and the ground was covered in waist high ferns. It seemed even the sparse sunlight that filtered down through the branches was tinged in green.

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It was worlds away from the deep orange and dry heat I called home. As I said… An alien planet of a town. 

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Eventually we made it to Charlie’s place. It was the same two story home that he bought in the early (and also the only) days of his and my mom’s marriage. It had two small bedrooms upstairs, as well as an office in the front right corner- just above the one car garage. It was this office that eventually became my bedroom. There, parked on the street in front of the house that hadn’t changed in the last seventeen years, was our new- well, new to us- truck. It was faded red with big, curvy fenders and a rounded car. Bubbly was the best word I could think to describe it.

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And I loved it. Bella did too if her sharp intake of breath and small grin was anything to go by. 

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“Wow!” She exclaimed, face lit up for the first time in the last two weeks. “That’s great, Dad. Awesome!”

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“Yeah, there’s no way we’re dying in that thing,” I admitted. But I was enthusiastic. It sure beat the two mile walk to school every morning, and the cruiser. 

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“I’m glad you like it,” Charlie replied gruffly. Embarrassed once more. 

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It only took one trip to get all our bags inside. I only had a duffel bag and a backpack, and I repeatedly hit the wall with them as I walked upstairs. My bedroom was just next to Bella’s and both had windows facing the road. At the very top of the stairs was the only bathroom in the house- a daunting idea- and on the opposite side of the staircase was Charlie’s bedroom with windows facing the woods out back. It was a simple, easy layout. Absolutely no way to mess it up. 

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My twin sized bed had been swapped for a queen at some point since my last visit, but the dark blue quilt comforter was the same. Light blue walls, the same as they’d always been, but the desk next to the window was new. The same scuffs were on the wooden floor and the rocking chair was still in the corner. The same slanted ceiling, the same dark blue curtains. All in all, not much had changed. Charlie had chosen to put the secondhand computer, with a phone line for the modem stapled along the floor line to the nearest phone jack, in here as well. It took up half the desk. It was also one of mom’s requirements so that we could stay in touch.

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Bella disappeared into her room as soon as she could. Charlie hovered in my doorway for only a moment before dodging away, satisfied I was fine. That was one of the best things about Charlie. He didn’t hover. If it were Mom I’d have to smile and converse and act like I was completely fine, but not with Charlie, so instead I just packed in silence. Solitude was fine and being alone was enjoyable. Packing was quick work; it was nice to finally be able to just sit and stare at the rain- which was falling down in heavy sheets once more.

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I mentally prepared myself for the next day. My first day at Forks High School. Counting Bella and I, it only had three hundred and fifty-nine students. This was daunting, but not because it was a big number, but because it was such a small number. Our junior class alone back home had over seven hundred students. It wasn’t that out of the ordinary to have a new student every week or so back home, and those new kids quickly got swept up and lost in the crowd- but here? The kids here had grown up together. Their parents, grandparents, even great-grandparents grew up together. Bella and I would be the new kids from the big city.

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We’d be like aliens in a lab, stared at and prodded against our will.

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Maybe if we were different we’d soak in all that inevitable attention. Maybe we’d thrive on it… but we weren’t like that.  _ I _ wasn’t like that. I wouldn’t strut in with a homecoming king grin on my lips, confident stride and all popular-like. There was no hiding it, I was  _ not _ that guy. Not the football star, not class president, not the bad boy riding in on the motorcycle. I wasn’t even the debate kid seeing as any kind of confrontation- no matter how controlled- made me want to cry.

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I was the kid who looked like he should play basketball- all long legs and knobby knees and thin arms with wiry barely-there muscles- until I tried walking in anything more complicated than a straight line (and even that I could mess up). I was the kid who got shoved in lockers until I shot up to 6’3” during the summer before sophomore year. But even that didn’t matter. I was too pale, too quiet. I didn’t know the first thing about cars or sports or video games- all things you’d expect a boy my age to be into.

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Because, unlike most boys my age, I never had any free time to care about those things. I had a stack of bills to pay, a sink to unclog, a harebrained mother to bring back to earth, and a twin sister to pull out of her shell at the same time she pulled me out of mine.

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Well, now I only had one of those things. Now, I only had Bella.

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And that would have to be enough. Even if the only thing we could do for each other was pretend that everything was going to be okay in this alien planet of a town, it would have to be enough.

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	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beau and Bella's first day at Forks High School. Meeting new friends and seeing the Cullens for the first time.

Sleep evaded me for most that night, my brain too loud and heart beating too fast from anxiety. The whooshing of the rain and howling of the wind was new and uncomfortable. I heard a howl every so often, but it was deeper and more drawn out than the coyotes howls I was used to. I could tell that it was only one wolf, no pack, and I felt bad for the wolf. I felt like the wolf. It was only after the rain quieted to a lazy drizzle that I was able to fall asleep.

Thick fog was the only thing I could see out my window when I woke. I couldn’t even see the rain gutter and claustrophobia quickly crept up on me. The fog felt like it was caging me in, sticking to my skin even when it wasn’t touching me. It was like a prison.

Bella was in the shower when I woke so I made my way downstairs to make breakfast. Charlie was leaning up against the sink when I made my way down, uniform already on, with a large mug of coffee in hand. He looked startled to see me. “Mornin’.”

“Good morning,” I nodded and opened up the pantries. I found bread. Peanut butter. Jelly. I purposely did not look at the expiration dates. In the fridge I found a crate of eggs and some bacon. The bacon was new, obviously one of the only food items Charlie bought regularly. “Will you be staying for breakfast?” I asked.

Charlie blinked once, lost for words, then looked at the stovetop clock and nodded. “Sure.”

“Okay,” I replied and that was that. He sat at the small table with three mismatched chairs and watched as I worked. Making breakfast was easy, my movements automatic from muscle memory. Breakfast was my duty back home, just like dinner was Bella’s. We had a system.

Per system, just like always, I jumped in the shower just after Bella. She set aside a plate for me. By the time I got downstairs, dressed and ready, Charlie had left for work. Bella and I sat silently at the table, chewing our food and swallowing without actually tasting anything. 

My eyes were drawn to the fire mantle in the small adjoining sitting room. It was lined with pictures. First was a wedding photo of Charlie and Mom, taken in Las Vegas eighteen years ago. Then was a photo of the four of us in the hospital, one baby in Mom’s arms as Charlie leaned close to her with another baby in his own arms. They both had excited smiles on their faces, eyes tired but so very young. This photo was followed by a long and cramped line of school pictures up to this year. Those were the embarrassing ones. Bella looked fine in all of them, if not a little awkward, but she never really had a ‘bad puberty’ stage. I, on the other hand, suffered through the braces and bad haircuts (thanks, Mom) and the acne I had finally abolished.

The yellow curtains above the sink and the yellow paint on the cabinets was the same as Mom left them eighteen years ago. It made it impossible, being in this house, to not realize Charlie never really got over Mom. It made it uncomfortable, too. 

“Do you want to drive, or…” Bella said. I looked to the clock. It was just as good a time as any to leave. We wouldn’t be too early. Plus, I just really needed to get out of this house- away from those yellow curtains and cabinets- and I think Bella felt the same. 

“Do you want to?” I asked. 

“Only if you don’t want to.”

“... I- I don’t mind if you want to or I can, I…”

“-I can drive,” she decided and I nodded quickly. We were both indecisive, but I was only just a little more than her. Which, if you knew her, seemed like an impossible feat.

“Okay.”

We donned our jackets- thick and flannel on the inside with two layers of something green that almost felt like cheap denim on the outside- and stepped out into the rain. 

It was just a drizzle now, but even that was miserable, and I ducked down to grab the house key from under the welcome mat to lock up as Bella started the truck. It roared to life with such volume that I jumped, dropping the key and my backpack. Walking to the car, it felt odd to not hear the crunch of gravel under my feet. My waterproof hiking boots felt unnatural and heavy on my feet. 

Inside the truck smelled faintly of tobacco, gasoline, and peppermint, but it was obvious that either Charlie or Billy had cleaned it up nicely. The steady volume of the engine, which was top volume, was a definite con and bound to draw in quite a few eyes. The antique radio worked, a pro neither Bella and I were expecting. 

I fiddled with the channels as she drove. It came down to the difficult decision of a classic rock station, a christian station, or a country station. I, shockingly, chose the classic rock. Bon Jovi was on and I decided that was a good way to start the morning. 

Finding the high school wasn’t difficult. It was, like most things in Forks, located just off the highway. From the road, it was difficult to tell it was even a high school. Trees blocked most of the view, so it was difficult to see it’s actual size, but it looked like one large brick building with several smaller ones tucked on the other side. The cafeteria was set above us, a large and covered walkway connecting it to the back of the main building. Several students were out milling about on the front lawn. They looked miserable. 

Bella parked up front, next to the side entrance that had a sign above it that read MAIN OFFICE. The row was empty of cars. It made me wonder if we were supposed to park there, but it seemed Bella wasn’t too worried about that. 

Inside, it was warm and bright, which was a nice surprise. The office was small and cramped. A small waiting area with two chairs in either corner, a table between them with a potted fern sitting on top (as if there weren’t enough right outside the door). There was another door that led to, I’m assuming, the main hallway of the building. Behind the long counter, which split the room in two and was cluttered with more potted plants and wired baskets full of papers and pens, were three other decks. Next to one, reading over something or another, was a large, red-haired woman wearing glasses. She wore a purple t-shirt and knee length shorts, no jacket in sight, which made me feel overdressed. 

The red-haired woman looked up and stared for a moment. She had to raise her head slightly to look at me comfortably. “Can I help you?”

“I’m Beau Swan. Beaufort Swan, erm. This is my sister, Isabella.” I informed her and immediately her face flooded with awareness and delight. We were expected, apparently. The thought made me cringe. The long lost twins of Police Chief Swan and his flighty ex-wife, returned at last.

“Of course!” She exclaimed, far too awake for the hour, and dug through a large stack of files on the desk until she finally pulled out the one she was looking for. “Schedules for the both of you…” then she opened a drawer and pulled out even more papers. “School maps here and these slips. Get your teachers to sign the slip at the start of class and bring it back here at the end of the day.”

She went through our classes, highlighting the best routes, smiling at us the whole time. At the end, she- like Charlie and Mom- hoped we liked it here in Forks. I smiled back painfully as Bella mumbled a ‘thank you’.

Other students were beginning to arrive when we walked back to the truck. I studied our schedules as Bella found a suitable place to park in the student section of the parking lot. It was a relief that most of the cars in the parking lot were older models, nothing flashy or stand-out. Back home, we attended a school that served some of the wealthier neighborhoods in the Paradise Valley District. It wasn’t too uncommon to see a new Mercedes or Porsche in the student lot. The nicest cars here were a shiny silver Volvo and an equally as shiny light blue convertible Honda. They were parked next to each other, near the back of the lot, but still they stood out. Bella cut the engine as soon as we pulled into a spot, hoping the thunderous volume wouldn’t draw too much attention. 

It did. We both shrunk into our seats and tried to look as small as possible. That was hard for me seeing as my knees pressed against the glove compartment. 

“We’ve got Gov and Trig together,” I stated. 

Bella nodded, “what period are those?”

“Second and third, respectively.”

“That’s it?” She asked, voice lilting at the end, as if she knew more was just too much to ask for.

“Sorry,” I apologized, then cringed. It’s not like it’s my fault the universe hates us. Well, perhaps it is, but for what on Earth I’m not sure.

“That sucks,” she continued, pulling the strings around her hood tight as I handed her her backpack that was stashed at my feet. “It would’ve been nice to not spend the second half of our days completely alone and lost.”

“We’ll find each other at lunch. Don’t worry.”

“Promise?” Bella asked, one hand hesitantly on the driver’s door as she looked over at me with wide brown eyes. My eyebrows, previously screwed up in my nerves, softened when I looked over at her. Sometimes, she does something and I’m reminded that she is in fact my little sister. That I’m her older brother and she depends on me for the same things I depend on her for. Like reassurance.

I held out my pinky. She hooked it with her own and we both squeezed. 

“Promise.”

Together, we donned our backpacks and stepped out of the truck. We were quick to pull our jackets closer to us, happy to see that they didn’t stand out against what the local kids were wearing. I ducked my head, not that it did much, when I caught someone’s eyes and ushered Bella to move faster. She nearly tripped on the curve. 

Building three was easy to find. A large white ‘3’ was painted on the upper east corner. “Good luck,” I whispered to Bella as we stopped just outside it. 

She took a deep breath to calm herself and nodded stiffly. Swallowing thickly, she replied. “You too, Beau. Love you.”

“Love you, Bells.”

Then she ducked into the building and I couldn’t see her anymore. I stood still for a few moments, waiting for her to run back out like hellhounds were nipping at her heels- but she didn’t and I moved on. Biology II was located in building two, across from it’s entrance were the ominous steps and heavy metal doors of the gym. I shuttered, already dreading fourth period, and took one long stride into building two.

The biology classroom was the second classroom on the left side of the inner hall. I trailed just behind two unisex raincoats inside, but was stopped short as they took their time shrugging off their coats just inside the door. They didn’t realize I was there just yet, and I didn’t want to be rude and interrupt them but someone was waiting behind me to get inside the classroom. I cleared my throat. It was just barely loud enough to hear.

They stopped and turned quickly, taking a step back when they ended up looking at my neckline instead of my eyes. There was one major downside of being 6’3”, and that was getting your chest stared at a lot. 

“Sorry!” The girl squeaked out and ducked to the side. She was pretty, with clear tan skin and straight black hair pulled into a ponytail. She had thin glasses perched on her nose and an expensive looking camera hanging from her neck.

The other girl was less shy than her friend. Her eyes slowly raked up to my own and she grinned widely. Excitedly. She thrust her hand out to me. “Hi! I’m Jessica. You’re Beaufort Swan, right?”

“Just Beau, please,” I corrected quickly, cringing on the inside as much as the outside. I accepted her hand, expecting her to shake it limply and let go. Instead, she latched onto it like a shark and dragged me forcefully to the teacher’s desk. 

“Molina!” She called the teacher, a dark-haired man who was in the middle of yawning as he wrote something on the whiteboard. 

“Jessica,” he replied without having to turn around. On second thought, Jessica did have a rather distinctive voice- high pitched and ‘whiny’, in a way, kind of like Luke Skywalker in A New Hope. Then Mr. Molina turned around. 

His eyes widened slightly, but not in a gawking kind of way. It was a, ‘that’s one unnecessarily tall kid’ kind of eyes widening, but it was gone in a second and he was moving on. He held out his hand for my slip, which I quickly handed over, as he held out a textbook with the other hand. I took that just quickly, muttering a ‘thank you’. He made no mention of my full name and had a no-nonsense but chill air about him. I could tell we were going to get along just fine.

“You can take a seat right at that back table. Just behind the girls.” He nodded to the girls still hovering by my side. He handed me back my note and I quickly shuffled down the middle row between the tables. Eyes stuck to me as I went. 

“You’re right here, Beau,” Jessica patted a table, then sat on the edge of it. Her friend had to walk in front of it to slide into her seat closer to the window. She cracked open her own textbook, sending me one last kind smile, before turning back to the textbook.

“So, Beau…” Jessica said after I sat down. It seemed I wouldn’t have a lab partner, as of now. “You have a sister, right? A twin?”

I nodded. “Bella, yeah.”

“That’s, like, so cool! I’m an only child-” she started when I didn’t elaborate further but was quickly cut off by the bell ringing and Molina yelling out a good morning. I was thankful, seeing as I didn’t really know how to respond to Jessica. 

Well, I didn’t really know how to conversate in general. 

Class passed quickly. The class syllabus outlined projects and experiments we’d be doing and most I was familiar with, having done them back home. I wasn’t too worried. Today was a note taking day and I kept my head ducked, careful to not meet anyone’s eye. It was hard, though, seeing as everyone turned around at least once to take a good look at me. 

The bell rang and I dodged out of class before Jessica could start another conversation, eager to meet Bella outside building three. I saw her easily, standing just outside and talking with a gangly boy with skin as oily as his swoopy black hair. I almost kept on walking so I didn’t have to talk to him, too. I decided against that. Bella and I had to stick together.

“What’s your next class?” The boy asked. 

Bella reached into her bag for her schedule as I walked up to her. A smile of relief stretched across her face. 

“You’re Beaufort, right? Bella’s brother?” He asked excitedly, as if he was a cat that just caught the canary. It probably felt like that for him- having the honor to be the very first student at Forks High School to talk to both of the Swan Twins. 

“Just Beau, please,” I corrected. 

“What’s your next class?” The boy repeated.

“Government with Jefferson. Building six. Bella and I have it together.” I already memorized my classes, as well as their location and the best route to them. Getting to Government would not be hard, seeing as building six was located just behind building three. I hoped this kid wouldn’t offer to walk us there. 

“I’m headed to building four, I could show you guys the way…” damn, definitely over-helpful. “I’m Eric, by the way,” he added.

“Thanks,” Bella responded, too nice to say ‘no, thank you’. But so was I because I just nodded and followed along. 

“So…” Eric breached as we walked. I didn’t want to sound paranoid, but it felt like people were walking extra close to us in order to eavesdrop. “This is a lot different from Phoenix, huh?”

“Very,” I replied. 

“It doesn’t rain much there, does it?”

“Three or four times a year.”

“Wow, what must that be like?” He wondered.

Wonderful. Warm. Comforting. Home.

“Sunny,” was Bella’s blunt answer. 

“You don’t look very tan. No offense.”

“That’s probably why they kicked us out,” I replied. It was meant to be a joke, but my tone was just a little too dry and I worried he’d take me seriously when I noticed him studying me apprehensively. 

“He’s joking,” Bella reassured him. “Actually, our mother is part albino.”

Then it was Bella he was studying apprehensively, and we sighed in unison. It seemed like clouds and a decent sense of humor didn’t mix. Eric walked Bella and I right up to the door to Jefferson’s, even though it was clearly marked as the government classroom by the constitution taped right next to the door. “Well, good luck,” he said as I held the door open for Bella. “Maybe we’ll have some classes together.” He sounded hopeful.

I smiled at him but didn’t say anything and dashed into the class after Bella. Thankfully, there were no assigned seats so we were able to sit next to each other. 

The rest of the morning passed in much the same fashion. Government was easy enough and Mr. Jefferson was a good enough teacher. He relied heavily on PowerPoints which I definitely was not complaining about. 

Mr. Varner, our Trigonometry teacher, who I already hated for the sole reason that he taught trigonometry, was the only teacher who had us introduce ourselves. We stumbled, blushed, Bella accidentally said she was me but corrected herself before anyone could catch what she had said in her quiet tone. I tripped over a backpack as we moved to the long table at the back. 

Gym was next. I nearly passed out from anxiety by the time I made my way inside the main building. Gym took up half of the bottom floor, the other half being administrative rooms, offices, the teacher’s lounge, and the library. I steeled myself as I walked into the gym.

Coach Clapp was nice enough. He didn’t force me to change out today even when he found me a uniform. 

“You play basketball?” He asked. 

“No.” My tone was obvious.

“Volleyball?”

“I don’t play anything,” I stopped him from naming every sport in existence. My tone was still flat and he eyed me questioningly. Eventually, he gave up and just patted my back once, sending me over to the bleachers. He probably felt bad for me. Come to think of it, I would too if I were him.

I watched four volleyball games run at the same time. I recognized some of the kids, like the quiet girl from first period and the kid who walked Bella and I to Government. Eric, that’s right. Most kids were pale, some were even paler than Bella and I, which relieved me. That was one thing that made us blend in, at least. 

I tucked myself in closer to the wall until my back was straight against it, slipping down to sit where people sitting in the second row of the bleachers would put their feet. My head was still visible, as were my arm and shoulders, but I had shrugged off my green jacket so my grey long-sleeve must’ve blended in with the bleachers well enough.

Or maybe I was just so still that I was invisible to the naked human eye. Like a stick bug. Or an Australian Wrap-around spider. 

Class ended and I stuffed my uniform into my bag, making a mental note to wash them later. Eric saw me then and he offered to walk with me to the cafeteria. I accepted, not that I could really refuse, and the quiet girl from first period joined us. Apparently, her name was Angela and they were both in the school newspaper- hence her camera. 

She snapped a shot of me as soon as we walked outside. I jumped and she looked apologetic. “Sorry, I need a candid for the paper. I’ll get one of your sister when I meet her, too.”

“What?” I choked out. Paper? We were newspaper material? Is this what hell was?

“Front page, baby,” Eric smirked, proud and smug of his story.

“No!” I practically yelled. People turned to look at me and I quickly ducked down, lowering my voice. “Please, that’s not really necessary. Bella and I- we don’t really… do that.”

“Woah,” Eric cut me off and held his hands out in the universal sign of ‘I mean you no harm’. “No feature. That’s cool.” He looked genuine, a little disappointed but not angry or anything. His smile was comforting enough and I felt my heart rate return to normal.

“I’ll guess we’ll just run another editorial of… teen drinking. Road safety.” Angela mumbled, mostly to herself, looking down at her feet as she chewed at her lip as she thought. 

“You could always do… eating disorders, the pink tax.”

Angela looked hopeful as she turned to look at me. She smiled, “you know about the pink tax?” Her voice sounded airier than before. 

I shrugged. “Twin sister.”

Angela smiled the rest of the way to the cafeteria and Eric prattled on about teachers and classes. I tried to keep up. 

Once inside the cafeteria, they guided me to one of the round tables. To my surprise and relief, Bella already sat there with a couple other kids. Just next to her was Jessica, the chatty girl from first period. I instantly felt bad for Bella. There was a look of rushed panic on her face, as if Jessica was speaking too quickly for either of their brains to keep up with. I took the seat next to her, muttering out a quiet, “hi”, before looking around the room in absolute boredom.

“How was your morning?” She asked, hitting my elbow with hers to catch my attention. 

“Good, you won’t have to change out in PE.” I replied. 

Bella nodded, though her eyes were drawn to the side. Out towards the open grass square lined with trees between the cafeteria and building seven. 

“Bells?” I asked but she ignored me. 

“Who’re they?” Bella asked, nodding in the same direction. I turned to look at what she was looking at. And it’s there that I saw them for the first time. 

“The Cullens…” Angela replied, quietly and with a guilty little smile on her lips. She and Jessica exchanged a look. 

“They’re Dr. and Mrs. Cullen’s foster kids.They moved down here from Alaska, like, a few years ago,” Jessica elaborated as Bella and I watched them through the blinds as they got closer and closer to the cafeteria side entrance. A pang of guilt rang through me, hating myself for staring at them when they were relatively new kids, as well.

“They kind of keep to themselves,” Angela added, which caused Jessica to grin and turn quickly to us- as if she had a juicy bit of gossip just begging to be shared.

“Yeah, ‘cause they’re all together. Like, _together_ , together.”

Just then the door swung open and the first two walked in. One was a girl. No, a woman. With pale blonde hair in perfect ringlets to the middle of her chest. She was probably the most beautiful person I’d ever seen- a ‘bombshell’- with a face and body fit for the front cover of _Sports Illustrated_ swimsuit edition. She was tall and statuesque and walked with a gentle sway to her hips. Perfectly painted lips upturned in a slight smirk.

By her side was a tall boy with the curliest dark brown hair I’d ever seen. I’d say he was a man, just by the sheer bulk of his muscles and height that probably surpassed my own- if it wasn’t for his face. His cheeks were round and his grin was easy, giving him a certain childlike appearance that somehow worked with all the muscle. Deep dimples dented his cheeks.

He reached forward the same moment the girl reached back, their hands meeting between them to sway lightly. 

“The blonde girl- that’s Rosalie- and the big dark-haired guy, Emmett, they’re, like, a thing. I’m not even sure that’s _legal_.”

“Jess,” Angela exclaimed quietly, her voice exasperated. It was obvious this conversation had happened before. “They’re not actually related.”

“Yeah, but they live together. It’s weird!” Jessica defended herself. I kind of got where she was coming from. I mean, weren’t their parents worried they’d… do stuff? I flushed at the thought and quickly distracted myself by looking at the next two to walk in.

A short girl, and I mean _short_ , with cropped black hair and small features was tugging on the hand of a blonde boy who- much like his ‘siblings’- looked a little too old for a high school cafeteria. It was clear on his face that he was uncomfortable, but he humored the girl by raising his arm to spin her around. She smiled and kept on tugging him to their table. They were an odd looking couple, not the type of people you’d expect to see with each other, but it worked. It worked… strangely perfectly, actually.

“And, okay, the little dark-haired girl’s Alice. She’s _really_ weird, and she’s with Jasper, the blonde one who looks like he’s in pain.”

“Understandable,” I nodded. I’d be in pain too if people blatantly stared at me and openly called my girlfriend _‘really_ weird’. “This is high school… we’re all in pain.”

“Dr. Cullen’s like this… foster dad slash matchmaker,” Jessica laughed lightly.

Angela cradled her face with her hands and batted her eyelashes in a playful manner. “Maybe he’ll adopt me.” I huffed out a laugh at her, but Bella didn’t. Her eyes were still at that side entrance. 

“Who’s he?” She breathed out, which instantly sent warning bells off in my brain. Bella didn’t speak breathlessly… not about a ‘he’. Automatically, I disliked very much whoever it was she was looking at. 

He was tall, though not as tall as the other two boys, and lanky- less bulky. And unlike them, he looked like he could actually be a high school student. His untidy hair was a peculiar color, though I didn’t really know how to describe it so I decided he was just a ginger. There was a metallic quality to his hair I’d never seen before. It was odd. He was odd. I didn’t like it. I didn’t like _him_. And, no, it had nothing to do with the fact that he made Bella _breathless_.

“That’s _Edward_ Cullen _._ ” Jessica replied and bit her bottom lip. From her reaction to even the thought of him, as well as Angela’s and even Bella’s, I got the impression he was the heartthrob. Objectively speaking, I could see him being the handsomest of the three boys. 

He waited at the door, holding it open for someone else that hadn’t rounded the corner yet. 

“He’s totally gorgeous, obviously, but apparently nobody here’s good enough for him.” Jessica scoffed and picked at her food. “Like I care, y’know?”

It was obvious Jessica cared and I wondered how many times he had turned her down.

Finally, the boy- Edward- smiled at someone outside the cafeteria and I eagerly waited to see who it was. They said something which made him laugh unabashedly and it only made me more curious. 

She appeared then, quickly and smoothly, movement as steady and swift as a river. She thanked Edward and he let the door close behind him. They didn’t hold hands like the others, though, and I hoped that meant they weren’t together. 

I think my entire life changed once I saw her then. 

I’d never given much thought to what makes a woman physically beautiful in my eyes- my version of beauty is a much more internal thing- but if I had to sum it up in one word, that word would be ‘her’.

She was small, though not as small as the pixie-like girl. Maybe 5’3”, just an inch or so shorter than Bella. Her blonde hair flitted against her hips, falling in careless waves. Some strands were curlier than others, and none were uniform with each other, but they were perfect in a way that probably intimidated any girl around her.

There was next to nothing ‘sexy’ about her face, nor ‘hot’ in the runway model kind of way. But yet, there was beauty- like an angel, those baby ones with white wings and harps or whatever. She had that kind of innocent, rosy cheeks and doe eyes beauty… the kind Shakespeare and the likes wrote about.

Except her cheeks weren’t rosy. They were pale white with a faint shadow of cheekbones poking through her ‘baby fat’ (something I, myself, was far too familiar with- but at least she pulled it off). The corners of her pink lips, which weren’t that much wider than her nose, were deep set and upturned- a pointed cupid’s bow and perfectly pouty bottom lip. I was jealous of those perfectly proportional lips and I reckoned Bella was, as well. Dimples, slightly jutted-out chin, and wide set, sleepy eyes- giving her a perennially ‘startled awake’ expression- set beneath pale and somehow sad eyebrows.

She was far too innocent, far too angelic to ever be considered a ‘sexy bombshell’... and that was perfect. Haunted, yes, but perfect. Like a medieval painting of some long-dead queen.

“Who’s _that?_ ” I asked. In my peripheral I could see Bella smirk, raising her eyebrows for a moment before fixing her eyes back on Edward. At the moment, I honestly couldn’t find it in me to care. 

“That’s _Lillian_ ,” Jessica mocked my tone and rolled her eyes. “Don’t even bother, Beau.”

“Are they…” I asked the unasked question, eyes bouncing between the last two newcomers as they walked nearer to our table on the way to their own. They walked closely together, but so did Bella and I. They weren’t looking at each other or holding hands. 

Plus, they just didn’t look perfect together. Individually, yes, but not together in the way that Alice and Jasper did, or Rosalie and Emmett. 

Angela shrugged, “we don’t think so. I mean, it’d be fine if they were but… well, if they are then they hide it really well.”

“They’re not together.” Jessica insisted. Her tone was a bit viscous, as if anything else was illegal to think. “Seriously, guys, don’t think about it.”

Bella flushed and looked down. “I wasn’t planning on it.”

When they were all seated at the table, it was clear just how peculiar they all were. Somehow, they all looked alike yet nothing alike. None of them had the same facial structure, yet somehow they all had perfect facial structure. Straight, angular features. Perfectly prevalent cheekbones and jawlines. They all had deep set shadows under their eyes- purple, bruise-like shadows. As if they all were collectively struggling with sleepless nights, or almost done healing from broken noses.

And they were all pale. Startlingly so. Paler than Bella and I. At Least we had a splash of color on our cheeks. They were just pale. Like marble. Like exsanguinated, perfectly preserved corpses. 

Edward laughed and muttered something to the others. They all joined in on the laughter. I could see their perfectly straight teeth in white rows behind their pink lips.

“Which ones are related?” I asked.

“Well, Jasper and Rosalie are twins. Seniors,” Angela replied and smiled. “Lillian is their little sister. A junior.”

It made sense... if you didn’t look too closely. Yes, they were all blonde, but it was three completely different shades of blonde. Jasper’s was the closest thing to honey I’d ever seen. A bright and bold orange-y golden that was closer to Edward’s metallic ginger than Rosalie’s pale, nearly platinum, blonde. And Rosalie had curls, yes, but they were uniform compared to Lillian’s natural curls. And even Lillian’s color was nothing like her older siblings. It was darker than Rosalie’s but ashier than Jasper’s. A sandy blonde. 

“She’s beautiful,” I muttered quiet enough so that only Bella could hear me. She breathed out a single laugh and looked back at the table with me. Though, she was now looking at Edward. 

His head snapped up, as if he heard someone call out his name and he reacted without thinking. He looked over at us, first at Jessica but then Bella and I, and stared for a few moments before furrowing his eyebrows. He muttered something to Lillian who was seated beside him. She frowned and unapologetically twisted to stare me down. 

I flushed, suddenly flooded with the internal urging to ‘look away!’. It felt like a lurching in the pit of my stomach and sounded like a whispering in the back of my mind. I resisted the urge and continued to stare at her, as if caught in her gaze like it was a tractor beam. I didn’t realize that Bella turned away immediately in her embarrassment at being caught. 

Lillian’s face screwed up for a moment but then smoothed once more. She sent a smile my way, a sweet, innocent smile, and the internal pleading to ‘look away!’ only increased. It was only until my stomach rolled with alarming strength that I turned away. 

“Beau,” Jessica began to warn me again, but I finished for her.

“Don’t even try,” I repeated, nodding as I frowned. Jessica looked satisfied enough with that.

Lunch went by in a steady blur of familiar faces and not so familiar faces stopping by our table to socialize. Eric eventually joined us again, taking the seat next to Angela, and with him came a blonde haired boy named Mike. I hadn’t met him yet, but he didn’t gawk at us like the others. Though, he was particularly bad at hiding the interested glances he kept sending my sister.

But Mike didn’t make Bella breathless, which automatically made him better than Edward.

After a few minutes, all six of the Cullens (and Hales) simultaneously stood and left the table together. No words were exchanged, not even any glances, and I was struck by how fluidly they all moved. Graceful. For the pixie-like one, Alice I remembered, it seemed natural and she made it look like a dance. Rosalie walked as if she was strutting the red carpet. It was even beautiful for the boys, but who really struck me was Lillian. 

Her walk was the first thing I noticed before, all those five or so minutes ago. But watching her walk amidst her ‘kind’, her family, I noticed just how graceful she was. There was no rise to her shoulders as she stepped. No lurches forward or swaying arms. Lillian walked like a vision. I could almost imagine her dressed in a long white gown, barefoot, gliding above the low fog of an overgrown cemetery. Hair flitting like a haloed veil around her. Sunken face. Haunted eyes.

Lillian walked like a ghost. And when I thought about it that way, she almost looked familiar. As if, were she dead, then I’d recognize her in a heartbeat.

My breath caught as Edward sharply turned, eyes searching for a moment before latching onto me and narrowing. His eyebrows twitched, then furrowed and finally relaxed into a flat glare. 

I gulped, shame and embarrassment flooding within me for some stupid reason. I hadn’t done anything, so why was he glaring so harshly? And why did I feel like I deserved it?

The two couples moved on, walking out the same side door they had first walked in through, but Lillian hung back and was studying Edward with perceiving eyes. She laid a gentle hand on his shoulder. I couldn’t be sure but it looked as if she asked, “what is it, Ed?”

But Edward only sighed and shook his head, laying a hand on the middle of her back, careful as anything to not pull her hair, and guided her after their siblings. They were gone only a second before the warning bell rang.

It was shrill and loud and unexpected, which made me jump out of my Edward and Lillian induced trance. Angela offered to walk with me to English, my next class which we just so happened to have together, and I accepted. I liked Angela. She was quiet and kind, a bit awkward, but I liked that she never forced her presence on anyone. It just made me more grateful for her presence, actually. 

We walked to class in silence and the moment we were inside, Angela scurried off to one of the desks. It was a full class, it seemed, and with a seating chart. I handed my slip to the teacher, Mr. Mason, who ushered me to the back of class. Two seats were open, one next to the window and one right next to it, and he tapped the one not next to the window.

Darn, I was really hoping for that window seat.

“Lillian Hale?” Mr. Mason called out once everyone was seated. He frowned slightly and looked out the door into the hallway. I followed his eyes, realizing that Lillian Hale was in this class. And not just in this class, _with me_ , but seated _next_ to me. “Huh, I could’ve sworn I saw her…”

“Excuse me, Mr. Mason,” a voice carried in from the hallway. It was hushed and feminine and sounded like it could be anyone, but instantly everyone in the class began to whisper in hushed tones to each other. 

“That’s Rosalie,” I heard one of the girls a couple rows up say.

“I checked Lillian out early,” Rosalie continued. “She’s feeling ill and will be spending the rest of the day resting at home.”

“Of course,” Mr. Mason nodded, satisfied. “Thank you for letting me know, Rosalie. You have a nice day.”

“You, as well.” With that, she was gone in a swish of platinum. Instead, she was replaced with a solid metal door shutting and the sound of gossipy teenagers.

“Lillian’s sick?! She looked fine at lunch!”

“Dude, she’s so lucky to just get to bail anytime.”

“Sick, my ass. Wonder what’s wrong with her today?”

That last one was said with a certain amount of spite in their voice and I felt my shackles rise for some reason. Really, I didn’t have any reason to feel like I needed to defend Lillian Hale. I didn’t even know the girl, yet here I was literally feeling my pulse rise because some random classmate talked about her in a less-than-friendly tone.

What can I say? Juvenile hormones are wack, completely bipolar and not at all appreciated.

English passed much the same as every other one of my classes. The list of books we’d be reading for the rest of the year was familiar to me. Three out of the four I had already done reports on and I considered asking mom to send those up to me. I reconsidered after a moment, knowing mom would definitely see that as cheating.

After English I had Advanced Art- the only class I was actually excited to attend. It was in the main building, upstairs along with all the other art rooms. The teacher was an older woman, sixties or so, with grey hair clipped back in homemade sea-shell clips and large wide-rimmed glasses pressed up close to her eyes.

I stood next to her desk awkwardly, waiting for her to notice me as she checked the kids names as they entered in. The bell rang and I was still standing when everyone else sat. They all looked at me expectantly, as if waiting for me to break out into a fully choreographed sing along.

I cleared my throat, praying to the heavens that the teacher would notice me. Thankfully, she did. She smiled brightly, eyes twinkling and crows feet on proud display when she looked at me. She didn’t appear to notice my height, though, but that was probably because she herself was at least 5’9”.

“A new student, how lovely,” she greeted kindly. 

“Beau Swan, ma’am.”

If possible, her smile seemed to widen. I handed her the slip and she signed it, then looked down at her seating chart and pointed to, once more, a black top table for two at the back of class. 

‘Lillian Swan’ was written in loopy handwriting on the seating chart… just next to where the teacher wrote mine. I nearly screeched.

Just my luck.

“Lillian was checked out early today,” I found myself saying for some reason. Regret flooded me as soon as the words were out of my mouth. Instantly, the class began to whisper about it. “She won’t be in class today…”

“Thank you for letting me know,” the teacher, Mrs. Butler, dismissed me with a kind smile. I returned it and dashed to my desk, sinking into the seat as I tried to disappear from everyone’s questioning gaze.

The rest of sixth period was spent alone. Taking out my sketchbook, I started planning for future projects from the syllabus. Without meaning to, every few minutes I’d look to my right, as if expecting to see Lillian Hale just there next to me. Every time I’d shake my head and call myself stupid. 

She wasn’t here. Maybe tomorrow she would be, but she wasn’t now and that had nothing to do with me. So why couldn’t I get her out of my head? There was no reason for me to be thinking of her… so why couldn’t I stop?

I mean, yes, she was beautiful. And that smile she sent me was absolutely dazzling. I couldn’t tell the color of her eyes, but I could tell they sparkled. And, yes, I was a bit curious if her and Edward were a thing- but as far as I could tell, so was everyone else at this school.

And, yes, maybe I was a bit perplexed by her sudden illness. She looked perfectly fine at lunch, happy and healthy. Maybe she ate something bad at lunch? No, it wasn’t that. 

She didn’t eat anything at lunch. None of them had. Maybe that’s why she was sick.

“Aah… stop it, Beau,” I groaned to myself. I hadn’t realized until now that it’s possible to annoy- not just everyone around you- but _yourself_ , as well. This nonstop monologue on Lillian Hale was frustrating and I couldn’t even stop it.

“What was that?” The kid in front of me whipped around and asked. 

I flushed. “Nothing. Sorry.”

The kid only scoffed and turned back around, shaking his head. I couldn’t care less. My mind was far away.

It stayed away for the rest of class. My black pen drew a figure ‘8’ until it bled through several pages by the time the final bell rang. I began gathering up my things slowly, movements sluggish, not realizing the quiet lull I had worked my way into. 

My thoughts never strayed from her, not until I was out of class and downstairs, back in the main office. Silently, I handed my slip of paper back to the receptionist from this morning. She told me goodbye and hoped I had a good day. Working up the energy to send her a smile was exhausting. 

I was in such a lull I hadn’t realized someone was standing just inside the door. 

“Sorry!” I quite literally jumped, completely awake now, when I hit their shoulder harshly with mine. It was Edward Cullen, a murderous glare- as if he were moments away from whipping out a gun and shooting me point blank- in his black eyes, and he looked completely unfazed when I ran into him. 

Which was odd, considering the fresh throbbing in my shoulder.

Slipping passed him was awkward. He made no move to give me any room and I held my breath so as to not disturb him with it. After all, I hadn’t done a single thing to him and he loathed me… who knew what he’d do to me if I _breathed_ on him. Probably break every bone in my body, honestly.

I dashed outside, clutching my backpack with white knuckled fists. Instantly, the cold and crisp air filled my lungs. A weight, more like a shadow, lifted from my shoulders and I felt free. Even as kids pushed passed around me, I felt better than I had all day.

I waited for Bella at the truck, leaning back on the passenger side door. The Cullens all stood together, the only ones weren’t there were Edward and, of course, Lillian. I realized the silver Volvo was one of theirs. The blue convertible was gone, Lillian must have driven it home. Was it hers?

Edward joined his siblings, gripping the driver’s side door with white knuckles. Shoulders hunched, deep breaths. It looked like he was having a panic attack and worry shot through me, knowing perfectly well how terrible they could be.

I didn’t know Edward Cullen, I didn’t owe him anything, but I found myself taking a step forward- intent on making my way over and helping any way I could. His siblings were there, waiting patiently to climb in the car, and Emmett was muttering something to Edward, but it didn’t look like it was helping. 

My next step was interrupted by Bella rushing to my side. She snatched my arm and pulled me back quickly. “Let’s go,” she said, teary-eyed plea in her eyes. I hadn’t realized she was so upset and instantly I forgot all about Edward Cullen. Bella was more important.

“Bella, what’s wrong?” I asked as we got in the car. She threw the car in reverse as she sniffed and rubbed her nose.

“I’m fine,” she insisted as she sped through the parking lot. It was honestly a miracle she didn’t hit anyone in her state. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine.”

“No, you’re-”

“Beau!” She exclaimed. Frustration was clear on her face. Hurt was, as well, and confusion. I didn’t understand. Was today that bad for her? “Honestly, today was just a bit overwhelming. I’m fine. I promise.”

I knew she was lying, but I knew she wouldn’t tell me the truth, either. Bella didn’t keep much from me, but when she did I never pushed. She’d tell me when she was ready. And I’d listen when that came. So instead I just nodded silently. 

We headed straight back to Charlie’s, the drive silent and warm as I tried to keep Bella, Edward, and Lillian out of my mind.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beau's first week in Forks wraps up and thoughts of Lillian Hale haunt him at every corner.

My dreams that night were colorless and foggy, as if my brain scrambled for images to fill them and couldn't go quite fast enough. Nothing was focused, everything just a little wrong feeling, but I remember it well.

Mr. Desmond was there, my art teacher from Phoenix, and he was in a graveyard. So was I and so was the crowd milling about me. I didn't recognize faces, the only one known to me being Mr. Desmond and Frankie, a boy I'd worked silently next to in art class for two and a half years. The scene was unsteady, as if everyone was vibrating at different speeds, and I was having a hard time keeping up straight.

Something was in my hand, something thin and light. Paper, maybe? No, the material felt sleeker than that- like cardstock or film. I looked down to see what it was.

My eyes were drawn to motion at the teacher's desk up front. Except it wasn't a desk, it was a casket. Half raised out of a deep hole in the ground, as if two people had tried taking it out only for one person to drop their side.

I watched as slowly the half lid opened, a pale hand pushing from inside with bony fingers. Then an arm was revealed, wrapped in sleeves of black lace and pearls, and then she sat upright.

It was Lillian Hale, and she was dead. Eyes grey and cracked and milky, hair limp and lackluster, skin wrinkled and pulled back tight against her skull and collarbone. Her mouth opened when she met my eyes, a silent scream on her lips- and as I prepared myself to run, the casket slipped back into the grave with a heavy, sudden, _thud_.

I had woken then, just as sudden as the casket hitting the dirt, a frightened yelp finally leaving me. Sweat beaded on my forehead, down my chest and arms, making me feel sticky. The clock read 4:36 and I wanted to fall back asleep, savor the next few hours with excitable gratitude, but I simply couldn't.

Seeing Lillian Hale dead startled me far more than it should. Disturbed me, even. And devastated me. The image didn't leave the back of my mind, even as I sat up and switched on my lamp, nor did the dread settling in the pit of my stomach. Looking out the window I saw it, reflected back to me in the glass, and I hurriedly drew my curtains shut.

Try as I might, I couldn't make it go away. And I tried. I took out a book and began reading, uncaring that it was my biology textbook I had grabbed, but that didn't work. Next was music, playing from a MP3 player Phil had gotten me for Christmas. The music was heavy metal, screeching with overwhelming drum power and an electric guitar ripping- and it worked for all of thirty seconds before the screeching turned to screaming. Screaming like the silent one on Lillian Hale's dead lips. Taking out a notebook, I sketched in the near darkness. I sketched until I wasn't sketching, until I was absentmindedly, yet meticulously, drawing the delicate slope of Lillian Hale's neck.

Nothing worked. Nothing could get her off my mind. Dead or alive, she wasn't going anywhere. The sheer helplessness of my state wanted to make me cry.

The only thing keeping me from throwing on my tennis shoes and just running, running into the woods behind our house and not stopping until I collapsed, was the fact I'd see her again today. I'd see her, and then I could get the image of dead her out of my head. I'd see her, smiling and moving and breathing, reassured that she wasn't dead. My mind would be instead filled with that image, of alive Lillian Hale- and though it wasn't ideal, in fact it'd be downright annoying, it'd be better than seeing her dead.

I calmed down with that, knowing rationally that the image I'd seen was just a trick of my imagination. Jumping in the shower, despite it being five in the morning, I thought it like a mantra in my mind, 'Lillian Hale is _not_ dead. She's perfectly alive. Lillian Hale is okay. _She's not dead_.' My heart rate settled eventually, the sweat rinsed away from my skin, and I finally began to feel better.

But I wouldn't feel good... not until I'd see her again. Not until I knew for sure, 'Lillian Hale is _not_ dead. She's perfectly alive. Lillian Hale is okay. _She's not dead_.'

Only... when I arrived to school later that morning, there was no Lillian Hale in sight. And just like that, even before walking into the school, my heart rate rose again and sweat began to build at my hair line. My anxiety rose as I desperately watched the rest of the Cullen group, standing around their car still and silent, only to find no small blonde quietly hiding behind one of them.

With that, I found the one thing worse than seeing an image of dead Lillian Hale whenever I closed my eyes- and that was not seeing her, at all.

She was gone the rest of the week, as was Edward Cullen. I'd taken the chance and asked Angela about it on Wednesday at lunch, thinking she'd be the least likely to snitch on me and my increasingly less deniable crush. I was right and my trust in her was rewarded with a kind laugh and a shrug of her bony shoulders.

"They do it sometimes, all of them- sometimes only a couple. Whenever the weather's nice, the family goes on camping trips and stuff like that. It's cool, isn't it? How close they are."

I only hummed, taking a moment to look back at the Cullen table. The four remaining, Rosalie and Emmett and Alice and Jasper, were talking among themselves like everyone else in the cafeteria. Angela's suggestion was valid, of course, but didn't quite add up to me.

Out of all the Cullen kids, Edward seemed the least likely of the boys to enjoy camping. He was less rugged than his brothers, more posh, in a way. And Lillian, though it was quite apparent how fit and physical she was, didn't seem all that outdoorsy either.

And besides...

"But the weather's not nice," I muttered, casting my eyes to the grey clouds and raindrops on the windows.

"Maybe they're travelling..." Angela suggested. It was clear she was just humoring me and didn't really care where they were. She just wasn't as nosy as me, or maybe as invested, but she was a good friend for putting up with it. "I'm sure they have more family out there, perhaps they're visiting?"

"But then why just Lillian and Edward?" I asked, more like demanded. "That doesn't make sense, Ange. It's not like they share any family."

Angela winced, sending a sad smile my way that made it obvious to me she had nothing more to say. "I'm sorry, Beau. I wish I could be more help." She laid a hand on my shoulder, squeezing once, and it made me feel bad for being so snappy with her.

"I'm sorry, I know it's not your fault," I sent her a self deprecating smile. "Feel free to smack me if I talk to you like that again." We shared a laugh at that, and just like that, everything was back to normal. I shrugged off my thoughts of Lillian and set my attention on Angela. "Now, tell me about that gov thesis you're thinking about."

She beamed at me, wide and toothy and oh so open, and gratitude flooding my heart.

Forks sucked major ass, that's true, but it had it's silver linings, I suppose. And Angela Weber was certainly the brightest of them all.

"I feel bad," I confessed to Bella Thursday night. We were laying on our stomachs on her bed, working on our math assignment together to half the work. Earlier at dinner, we had pestered Charlie for information on the Cullen's- only for him to ground out a defense for them that boiled with barely contained anger. "He probably thinks we're... judgy now."

Bella sighed from her side of the bed, looking away from her math homework to watch me. "Beau, stop stalling and _work_. Even numbers, _now_."

"He didn't sound too mad at us, did he?" I asked, repeatedly clicking my mechanical pencil.

"No, he didn't," she told me then, recognition flooding her face. Bella could understand my anxiety on the matter, the fear that Charlie wouldn't like us anymore. "He's just fed up with everyone in this town not minding their own business. That has nothing to do with us, Beau. We're new. It's natural for us to be curious."

I breathed deeply, counting the seconds between inhales and exhales. She was right, of course she was. "Yeah."

"Beau," she pushed, reaching over to ruffle my hair none too gently. "It's okay, Charlie knows we're not like that. You don't have to feel bad."

"Yeah," I nodded, looking everywhere but her. I just knew the moment I looked into those eyes I'd probably cry out of pure embarrassment. It wasn't right for me to be so... I don't know... Emotional? Sensitive? Weak? But the thought of Charlie not liking us, me, was too much to bear. No matter how irrational the fear was, it was still there.

I changed the subject then. "Did you ever get back to mom?"

Bella's eyes widened and she sat up. I went to follow her, but she pushed me down and crawled over me. Her knees dug into my back and I think she did it on purpose. "No, I didn't. Let's do that."

She swept out of the room quickly, not sparing me a second look, and after a moment I could hear the computer in my room whizzing and whirring as it booted up. I laid still, though, quickly taking her paper and copying the answers onto mine. I knew they'd be right.

Friday night we did the same as the last. Dinner with Charlie before barricading ourselves in either one of our rooms to work on homework. It was nice to do it together since most of our classes were the same, even if we had them during different periods. It meant half the work. Now that was a routine neither one of us were turning down.

By the time our first weekend in Forks rolled around, I was able to recognize- even name- most of the kids in my classes. The kids in gym new to steer clear of me and never once did any of the Cullens catch me staring when I stole glances their ways throughout the day.

But still, no Lillian Hale, and I was almost convinced I imagined her. If it weren't for the empty seat next to me in english and art, the quiet yet not at all subtle teasings of my new friend group, and the way she remained constant in my dreams, then I'd resign myself to letting the thought of her go.

It wasn't that easy, though. In fact, the more I tried ignoring Lillian Hale, it seemed the more I thought of her. She was driving me crazy- her and that pale sunshine hair, that dazzling smile of her, the way she moved and the curve of her lips.

Crazy. She drove me crazy and I was absolutely helpless to it. Like a single piece of driftwood caught between towering cliffs and a barreling riptide. Nowhere to escape, nothing to do- just... be tossed and thrown. Robbed of my ability to fight, the thoughts of Lillian Hale rolled over me, leaving me weak in both body and mind.

Taking deep breaths as I broke the surface, it's all I could do not do sink into oblivion.

She was cruel like that, unyielding and relentless... but ever so merciful to grant me those deep breaths.

Monday was the coldest day yet, but at least it wasn't raining. Bella had a smile on her face as we walked up to school, an odd sight, and she sent it to anyone she caught eyes with. I, however, was scowling. There was no way the dryness would last, and I loathed the moment I was proven right when it catches us unaware and we don't have time to evacuate to safety.

Jessica rambled on an on first period about the La Push trip she and Eric were planning, Bella and I had a pop quiz in government and I may or may not have dozed off in trigonometry. People left me alone in gym, steering clear as we ran the perimeter of the school in the freezing cold.

And if it wasn't for the freezing cold, I could imagine us back in Phoenix. The day was familiar, routine and boring- and it was perfect. I was feeling comfortable now, more comfortable than I had ever expected to feel here.

I changed out of my gym clothes quickly and met with Eric and Angela outside. The air was swirling with fluffy bits of white and people were shouting their excitement. I hated to admit it, but the biting cold felt good against my red cheeks and nose. It felt fresh and cleansing in my aching lungs.

"Snow!" Eric exclaimed. "Hell yeah." He sped off then, running ahead of us before falling to his knees. He bunched up the snow in his hands, creating a perfect sphere before lobbing it at the back of Mike's head. It hit, dead center, and broke apart on impact. Bella, who Mike was walking beside, was in the splash zone and sprinkled with the despicable substance.

It was a mere five seconds before Mike returned the favor, both boys yelling at each other before the entire courtyard began throwing snowballs at anyone in range.

Me eyes were wide with apprehension. I didn't want to spend the rest of the day with melting snow dripping down my neck and soaking my socks. Angela picked up on this and giggled. "Binder out, Beau. Use it as a shield and we should be safe as we make a run for it."

"Run for it?!"

She just smiled wide and giggled more. "Let's go!" Grabbing my free hand at the wrist, she pulled me along as we ran down the side of the courtyard. A few snowballs were thrown our way, which made Angela and I let out identical screeches, but we were able to defend ourselves easily enough.

We made it to the cafeteria in record time, wide smiles stretching our face as she leaned against me to catch her breathing. It felt nice and I suppose if I hadn't concretely filed Angela in the 'friend' category, the breach of personal space would have me blushing.

After getting our food, we sat at our table. Jessica and Mike were there, planning some epic snowball battle in the parking lot after classes. Well, Mike was planning and Jessica was agreeing enthusiastically- but with the 'sneaky' glances I'd caught her sending his way on multiple occasions, I was sure she'd agree to anything he said.

"Where's Bells?" I asked as we sat. Usually she beat me to the cafeteria, especially on days where water- frozen or otherwise- was falling from the sky.

Jessica shrugged, too absorbed in Mike to really care. "Said she was sick. Probably headed for the bathroom."

I frowned, worry creeping up on me. If Bella was feeling sick now, I was positive it wasn't a physical kind of sick, which was much more concerning. "I'm gonna go check on her."

Angela nodded as I stood. She smiled understandably, "go. Let me know if she needs anything."

"Got it. Thanks, Ange."

I left then and for the first time I didn't spare a glance at the Cullens table. Bella wasn't okay just now, and that was infinitely more important. Outside was cold, obviously, and I doubted it'd be getting any warmer any time soon, but I still trekked out into the parking lot and made my way over to our beat up red truck.

Bella was there, curled up in the drivers seat with her knees pulled to her chest. A look of pure dread was etched into her face as she rocked back and forth slightly. A million thoughts swirled in her eyes.

"Bella," I said quickly as I jumped into the passenger seat and quietly closed the door behind me. I reached over and gripped her shoulder when she didn't respond, "Hey, Bella, talk to me. Tell me what's wrong."

"He..." she huffed, then hiccuped. It was clear she was holding back from sobbing. Her hands raked through her hair viciously. "He's back."

Oh.

A new kind of anger, one I didn't feel too often, flooded through me. Edward Cullen had no right to make my sister feel like this, feel so small and stupid, and I hated him for it. Even if he slightly terrified me, because of that whole murder glare he sent me in the main office on Monday, I'd still defend Bella against him if push came to shove.

"You never told me what he did."

Bella sniffed, gripping the hand still resting on her shoulder. "Oh, Beau. He just..! Ugh, he looked at me so, just... I don't know what I did! But he hated me. Hated me and I just... I didn't do anything to him and I have next period with him and I can't face that again. I can't go through that again! I don't want to see him. I don't want to be here. I can't do it." She was shaking her head, eyes squeezed shut, and she only shook her head harder the longer she talked.

I had to stop this or she was going to hurt herself. "You didn't do anything wrong," I assured her, squeezing the hand she was gripping like a lifeline. "Bella, you did _nothing_ to him. Okay? Maybe he was having a bad day, or he wasn't feeling good, but if had nothing to do with you. Bella."

She quieted, breathing deeply. Every so often, her breath would hitch and she'd seize up, almost like she was preparing herself for something I couldn't see or hear. Bu it was all in her head, and that was worse. After a couple minutes, she spoke up. "What if it's the same again today? I can't do that again. Beau... _it was awful_."

"I know," I assured her, even if it was a lie. "But you've got this, okay? He's just a boy, a mean one maybe, but you can handle that. And if you need to leave, don't hesitate to, okay? Just get up and walk away if it's too much. There's no shame in that."

"He'll know he got to me," she said in a defeated tone. She was starting to calm down, thank goodness.

"So," I snorted out. "What's the worst he can do then? Glare some more? Whine?"

She laughed then, if only slightly, and looked up. Her eyebrows rose in a way I knew meant teasing. I braced myself. "Lillian's back, too, you know."

And there it was. My deep breath was gone and I was pulled back down in the violent riptide, realizing I'd blown my first chance at even catching a glimpse of her at lunch. Bella had seen her, everyone had seen her at this point, but not me... and somehow, in a way I didn't understand, that felt inherently wrong.

I wanted to be looking at her now. I wanted to be right there with her.

My mind ran away from me then. From the corner of my eye I could see Bella with a smirk on her red lips, looking like the cat who caught the canary. "Bella..." I groaned. Leave it to her to make me make a fool of myself. But at least it was just us, because I don't think I could handle the entire group watching me stare off in the distance and gawk like a fish.

"You're free to go back to the cafeteria," she suggested with a smile on her face. "Stare at her from across the room, completely deaf to the world around you. Ha, it's fun for us to watch."

"Tell you what," I replied, blinking a few times before fixing my eyes on her. "I'll go back to the cafeteria only if you join me. I know Angela wanted to make sure you were alright."

"Beau, I don't..." she trailed off hesitantly.

"You'll be fine," I reassured, "just keep your head up and don't give him the time of day. He doesn't deserve it."

"He doesn't deserve it," she repeated. A few moments later, after some careful consideration, she nodded. "He doesn't. He doesn't deserve anything from me."

I smiled, proud of her. "Damn right, Bells." It wasn't always that she could bring herself up from those lowest points so quickly, and even then, bring herself up higher than she was. Bella looked confident as we climbed out of the car, her steps final and strong as we made our way back to the cafeteria.

No one noticed us, too busy gossiping and darting their eyes to the long lost Edward Cullen and Lillian Hale- even Jessica barely noticed when we rejoined the table. But Angela did.

"Bella," she said softly as I pulled a seat out for my sister. "Everything okay?"

Bella took a deep breath and sighed. "Yeah. Thanks, Angela."

"Of course! If you-"

"What the heck?!" Jessica cut in. Her voice was quiet and disbelieving, but it carried and people around us turned to stare at the table. She ducked her head, leaning closer into me at her side. "Beau, Lillian Hale's staring at you."

A visceral pain shot through my body, almost like electricity. My head shot up without thought, finding their table as I did every day. But today, something was different. Today, there were six people at the table.

And today, one of them was staring right at me.

They were laughing together, all six of them. Edward, Jasper, and Emmett all had their hair saturated with snow melt, dark and shiny in the harsh light of the cafeteria. Alice and Rosalie were leaning away as Emmett flipped his soaked hair towards them. They were enjoying their snow day as much as everyone else, but with them it looked nearly ethereal- like something straight out of a movie.

And Lillian, a sweet, absentminded smile on her lips, with her chin held in her hand as the other carded through her long, ashy blonde hair, was leaning forward on the table with bright eyes stuck- just like Jessica said- directly on me. Even as Emmett shook his head at her, water droplets hitting her cheek and catching on her eyelashes, she didn't once even blink.

Neither did I.

I don't know how long I stared at her, all I know is the longer I did, everything else seemed to blur and disappear. My body flooded with warmth and comfort, my ears ringing with silence, and I knew I could never truly look away.

Nothing could possibly be better than having her eyes on me. No one else. Lillian Hale was staring at me, staring at me with such joy and wonder, as if I were her and she was me, and I never wanted her to stop.

"Beau..." a voice finally reached my ears. "Beau," and I knew that voice. It was Jessica, trying and failing to get my attention.

My deep, sudden breath broke the quiet and I realized it was all in my head. The cafeteria was buzzing with noise, with voices, and people were moving about more than usual, going stir crazy with the snow so tempting outside.

Lillian broke the stare before I could, and the smile slipped off her face as she looked around at her siblings. They were all staring at her expectantly, though not in a cruel way, more like a curious way. She just rolled her eyes, casting them down and hunching her shoulders in embarrassment. The hand previously carding through her hair started to play with the few food items strewn about in front of her.

A single baby carrot. A packet of what looked like peppers, the kind that comes with pizza. Alice and Jasper were rolling a piece of broccoli to each other and Emmett was attempting to balance a milk carton on Rosalie's head before she swiped it away.

Odd.

"Beau!" Jessica nudged me and I started, turning quickly to face her.

"What?" I asked quietly, a very much annoyed looking overtaking my face.

She leaned away and huffed. "Just stop staring at her so much, okay? It's... weird."

Everyone at the table seemed to agree, if Mike's nodding and Eric's hand covering the grin on his face and Angela's sympathetic grimace and Bella's frown were anything to go by. They were all looking at me like I'd grown a second head, silence overtaking our table for what was probably the first time in history.

"I... I mean... She..." I tried helplessly, floundering under the judgy looks. I hated this. _She was staring first!_

"We've all been there," Mike said, throwing an arm around the back of Jessica's chair. Her cheeks went rosy. "Trust me. Just don't get your hopes up. She's a Hale and you're just... well, you're just one of us."

Jessica nodded along, though there was anger in her eyes and I didn't know if it was at Mike, Lillian, Edward, or just 'Them' in general. But I didn't care, not when all I wanted to do was keep on staring at Lillian.

I knew I would. I knew if I stayed that my eyes would automatically find her again. Find her like it were instinct, because it was. Like she were the sun and I were a sunflower, following her loyally as she arched across the sky time and time again.

"I gotta go," I said quietly, frowning. I had to breathe, prepare myself for the next few hours with Lillian Hale by my side. So I gathered my things diligently and picked up my picked over tray.

"Beau?" That was Bella, confused and maybe even a little concerned. I swooped down to press a quick kiss to the crown of her head.

"Class starts in a few anyways. See you later." Then I left, throwing my backpack over my shoulder as I stalked away in the opposite direction as Lillian Hale.

Even my steps sounded frustrated.

I stopped in the bathroom before heading out to building three. No one was in there with me, so I felt safe enough to run the water loudly, uncaring of the absolute waste, and lean over the sink. My breaths were deep, eyes screwed shut.

A million scenarios ran through my head. What if I just didn't even attempt it, what if I just walked away. I could make it to the car before the bell rang. I could just drive away and not ever come back. I could accidentally slip in the hall, accidentally hit my head a little too hard and unfortunately spend the rest of the day at the hospital, away from Lillian Hale and any chance of seeing her. I could go to the attendance office right now, beg and beg to get a class change starting tomorrow.

Or I could... I don't know, meet her? I could. I could go and sit in class and wait for her to arrive and then I could introduce myself. I could just get it over with, like ripping a band aid off, and maybe then her smile alone wouldn't drive me to near insanity.

I could wait for her and when she walks in, takes the empty seat next to me, and I could flash her a smile and hold my hand out for her to take. I'd say 'hi', introduce myself to her and she'd tip her head, accepting the hand daintily. 'Hello, Beau,' she'd say in a bell-like voice.

I could pull her forward... hands going for her hair, carding through the ash waves like she had been doing in the cafeteria. I could just imagine it, being so close. Close enough to breathe in and press myself to, lips brushing the curve of her neck... pressing to the soft place beneath her ear. My hands clenched around the edge of the sink, imagining instead Lillian Hale's hips- thumbs brushing the naked skin between her pants and top, fingers pressing into her lower back and anchoring her against me. She'd sigh when the pressure of my lips increased, which would only encourage me to-

"Dude," a voice broke me out of my day dream. My head shot up, eyes meeting some random kids through the mirror. "You okay?"

"Uh, yeah," I said in absolute embarrassment at being caught, cheeks on fire. The kid smirked. He probably knew I was thinking... _those_ kinds of things.

I grabbed my bag and rushed out of there before he could say anything else. I was halfway down the hall, the pathway to the outside buildings in sight, when the warning bell rang over head.

Angela wasn't by my side as usual, which was odd and made me apprehensive- but that was all swept away when I finally made it to the door. It was raining, washing away the layer of snow in clear, icy ribbons down the side of the walkway.

Everyone groaned, disappointed, and complaints followed me all the way to building three. I just smiled, ducking my head to hide it behind the collar of my coat.


End file.
